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Post by Daniel Cardoni on Jan 28, 2011 0:45:13 GMT -5
He wasn't going anywhere. He'd made her a promise, had sworn on their friendship that he wasn't going to leave her. And he wasn't. Not now, and not ever if he had any say in it. Not again. He'd gone the first time because Collin had suggested it, had been fishing for his own resolution. It seemed like a simple enough thing, Lucky would be fine with Sneaks around. He'd go, get his head straight, figure out what his heart was trying to tell him, and come back to things near enough to how he'd left them. He'd never expected this.... this complete destruction. Had never expected to find Sneaks gone and Lucky so cynical and bitter. And of course she was. He couldn't blame her for it.
He just wished it wasn't this way.
"Then don't." Danny bit his lip for a moment before he held out a hand, palm up. "Don't worry about your footing. Just take my hand. Let me take care of it." Let me take care of you. It stayed unspoken, but there, between them. And he didn't mean it the way others might. Lucky didn't need someone controlling her, but she did need someone at her side, someone who could take the lead sometimes. And maybe give her a reason to smile again. "Who knows, bella mia? Maybe we'll find out you can fly."
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Post by Lucky Volpecillia on Jan 28, 2011 3:43:30 GMT -5
She wanted to rage, to yell but she was suprised when he held out his hand to her. Chewing on her lip she closed her eyes and thought about that. River was that, he was stable, he was constant and she loved him for all of that. He held her when she needed it. Was too good. He was to good for her, far to good for her.
The unspoken, she'd let Sneaks take care of her like he said he would, and then when it was all said and done she was worse off than she'd been when she had been pretending to be a boy. When being a girl hadn't been worth her time, she'd found love, her life was perfect nothing could stop her. Then it slipped, it had fallen away from her and she could only close her eyes and try to find something to stand on while she watched it call fall in.
His hand was in front of her and in a way he was asking her to trust him again with that same tone he'd always had but something in it had her lifting her eyes. She watched him for a long while before she closed her eyes, fly? If people were meant to fly God would have given them wings. God, what a novel concept she had long since stopped believing in.
Lucky didn't realize she was reaching for his hand until she felt the warmth of his fingers under hers, her eyes opening as if she were shocked she'd done it. Her instincts settling in, wanting to slap it away and tell him to go to hell but she didn't get it out as her fingers tentatively settled on his. "I don't need to be taken care of, Dan.."
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Post by Daniel Cardoni on Jan 28, 2011 18:23:20 GMT -5
She could if she really wanted to. Danny had been at her side too long to be dissuaded by her raging. He was far too used to it, and he watched her with open eyes as she chewed on her lip, practically able to see the gears turning in her head with each thought. He didn't know about River, didn't know she was with anyone, and it wouldn't have changed things even if he had. He'd gone away for one reason, as had Collin, and he didn't know about the old Brooklyn leader, but the trip hadn't helped him at all. It had probably made it worse, truthfully, and his heart constricted painfully just watching her. What had Sneaks done to her? What had he done to her?
Danny wasn't sure she'd take his hand, was holding his breath until he felt her fingers brushing against his and he curled them around her wrist, giving her a gentle little tug back into his arms. And for a long while there he didn't say a word, just held her against him like he used to do, loose enough that she could get away, but tight enough that hopefully she wouldn't want to. "Of course not." He finally murmured, brushing a thumb along her hand, a hand so much smaller than his own. It was so feminine, betraying her personality at times. Just looking at her figure, at how beautiful she was, anyone else would think her delicate, fragile. They didn't know her at all. "You've never needed someone to take care of you. Doesn't stop me from offering."
He chucked her under the chin lightly, a smile on his face. "You're the strongest person I know. And I know what you're thinking, bella. Believe me. But if you never let anyone in, really in, all the way, you'll never smile that way again." He sighed and dropped his hands, sounding a bit like he was chiding himself as well as her before his voice turned teasing. "And I need that smile in my life. It's all I live for, you know."
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Post by Lucky Volpecillia on Jan 28, 2011 20:57:06 GMT -5
What kind of person was she? River was there for her when she needed him when Danny'd been gone. He'd tried to tell her to buck up and be better but damn it, here she was with someone who had understood her in a way only Sneaks had. Probably more than Nicholi ever had honestly. Danny knew her inside and out, knew how stubborn she was, knew how angry she could get and he knew how to defuse her with a simple action. She'd fight him, argue with him, tell him off and call him names, and for a long time he'd been there still. No matter what she'd done, he'd been there. Until he wasn't.
The next thing she knew she was in his arms, realizing how tall he'd gotten since they'd been kids. She wasn't going to cry and she was shaking her head. She had a paddle and was taking that boat all the way up the river denial as far as she could, letting him hold her almost like he used too. Only they'd been about even in height back then. It hadn't felt like he was trying to wrap around her like this before. Like he actually could if he tried. It was strange and different... really different. She actually felt small for once, and like a girl.
She gave him a strange look when he said her smile was what he lived for, brow raised as the confusion crossed her face. "You don't need me, Dan. You do fine.. me smilin'? What's that gonna get ya but a few black eyes in the long run, huh?" She didn't think she was worth it, she hadn't expected to live this long. Hadn't wanted to live this long. Wasn't sure if she wanted to now, what future was there for her? She'd told River her dreams, wanted that store, that shop, wanted a real life instead of this one. she lived in limbo.
"Why would you need somethin' stupid like that to keep you going?"
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Post by Daniel Cardoni on Jan 28, 2011 22:16:12 GMT -5
Danny really couldn't explain his absence in a way she could understand. Even if he tried because he didn't understand it either. Not anymore. It seemed so stupid in hindsight, so ridiculous, so utterly useless. But it had nothing, absolutely nothing to do with any of the fights they'd had over the years. Because fights they were, in a fashion, though one sided because Lucky usually did most of the fighting while he stood there and took whatever it was she could muster to throw at him. And it had never bothered him, her temper or her words. She'd landed more than one good shot over the course of their friendship, he was sure he had a few scars from her that still showed on his skin if he cared enough to look for them.
They'd been kids then, near enough to the same height, and their embrace had been a lot different than it was now. Danny was acutely aware of her in his arms, a girl for all the things that spoke the opposite, and his girl, despite actually having no claim on her. It had always been that way. If there was ever a female at his side, it was Lucky, and he'd stood and watched more than one man fall trying to insult her. He'd never had to lift a finger to defend her when she didn't need it, only jumping in when she truly needed the help. More often than not before she could even ask for it. And maybe that was why he'd found it so hard to make friends with the girls he'd met on their travels. None of them were her. They were all carefully crafted manners and expensive dresses. No personalities, and not a single speck of dirt on their person.
He much preferred the spitfire in his arms. "Don't I? Come on, Miranda, don't you know better than that by now?" Of course he needed her, and he smiled wryly down when she mentioned the black eyes. "It's all right. I've grown accustom to that. They make me look rugged and handsome." He couldn't help the way he looked at her, lips curling up softly in the corners. "It's not stupid at all, bella. Smile for me. It will make my day." And he meant it. You could just see it in his eyes. "A tiny little smile for your poor little rich boy?" Just like old times.
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Post by Lucky Volpecillia on Jan 28, 2011 23:45:46 GMT -5
She snorted a laugh at his comment, rugged and handsome indeed, like he needed another reason to be arrogant. But the look on his face had the confusion on hers, shifting to look at him. Poor little rich boy, she'd often yelled that at him. Closing her eyes before she leaned into him, giving him a ghost of a smile as she closed her eyes hard. Damn him, damn him to hell. What she wouldn't give, to be able to go back.
"I missed you, Danny.." the first thing positive she'd uttered, needing to be where shew as for a moment. Even if she did cry, he wouldn't tell she'd kill him. She'd beat him to death first, but she didn't. She stood there, her hands moving hesitantly around him before she could stop herself. "I missed you.." It had been like missing a limb.
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Post by Daniel Cardoni on Jan 29, 2011 0:03:23 GMT -5
Arrogant? Hardly. Danny could play the part, if needed, but he used the comments mostly as a tease. He was good looking, he knew that much, but there were others far more pleasing to look at than him. Her, for instance. She'd grown up to be quite a beautiful woman, and he was proud to know her as well as he did. Beautiful and dangerous, she was unlike anyone else he'd ever met. And he couldn't help the look on his face as she gave him the ghosted smile and leaned into him, her hands hesitant but still there, and he let go of the breath he'd been holding in a sigh.
She could cry. If there was anyone whose shoulder she could borrow for such a thing, it was his. He would never tell, would never betray her that way, and he wouldn't say anything either, just hold her until she was done. "I've missed you too, tesorina." It was a murmur, even as he dropped his head against hers, eyes half lidded. "You have no idea how much." It was exactly like that. Like a piece of him had been torn away.
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Post by Lucky Volpecillia on Jan 29, 2011 0:34:24 GMT -5
She didn't know what to really do with herself most days, her face pressed into his shoulder as she felt his forehead drop to the top of her head. This was just how they were, had been and she growled at herself trying to fight back whatever tears were coming. It didn't make sense, none of it made any sense how much it hurt. She closed her eyes as she actually clung to him, not wanting this.
"I can't let someone hurt me like that again," she murmured into his shirt, her hands on his back, shifting to hang onto his shirt as she tried to fight but the tears came anyway. Lucky was strong, she was brave but she had taken on more the last while and just kept storing it away until she couldn't handle it anymore. She was at her wits end, emotionally spent. "All I do is lose.." She'd never been able to hang onto anything, ever.
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Post by Daniel Cardoni on Jan 29, 2011 0:48:38 GMT -5
Danny wasn't going to forget this any time soon, if ever. He hadn't seen her like this often, in fact he could easily count the number on one hand and still have a few fingers left over. And he wouldn't forgive himself for letting it get this far. Curse Collin and his wandering ways. He should have told him no, should have stayed and soldiered through it like he always had. Look what it had gotten him. Look what it had done to them. She had absolutely no reason to trust him anymore and it hurt. But she was in his arms, and that was all he could hope for right now.
"They won't." His fingers tangled in her hair, his other hand spread along her back, fingers splayed to keep her pressed close. "I won't let anyone hurt you." And it was a big promise he was making her, one he might not be able to keep, but he would do his best. He'd already promised not to leave her. "You know as well as I do that you have to lose to win. It's not over yet." That wasn't true though, was it? She'd held onto him through the years. He might have left but he was back again, and nothing had really changed. Danny was still the boy he'd once been, if a little older.
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Post by Lucky Volpecillia on Jan 29, 2011 1:09:24 GMT -5
He'd been gone for how long? Truth was she'd always ran to Danny, raged at him when things hurt to much to bear. Her face pressed into his shoulder she felt his hand in her hair, the other across her back. She'd never realized how large his hands were, it covered her back. Maybe it was partially because she had never let anyone get that close, let anyone put their hands on her like that. Other than Sneaks or River. Ordinarily she didn't let people close. Smalls was a sister but others? She shook her head back and forth for a moment, not sure if she was going to believe him. How could she? He'd left her he'd gone off-- but how could she blame him.
Eyes tightening through the tears, she felt herself pressed up against him and it had her eyes opening. Arms slipping from his waist to around his neck. There was nothing to say was there? She wanted to yell, wanted to be angry but she had run out of energy, of angry, it just ran rampant into hurt. She didn't want to believe that Nicholi was dead, hadn't wanted to believe it but with Danny standing in front of her. She let the tears slip down her face, jaw clenched. "He's dead isn't he, Danny..."
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Post by Daniel Cardoni on Jan 29, 2011 1:23:26 GMT -5
He'd handled it a bit differently back then. He was no Brooklyn kid, he didn't just jump up and start fights, but he did for her. Had, quite a few times. He'd lost count of how many black eyes and busted lips he'd received for defending her. Just as he'd forgotten how many times he'd split his knuckles against someone's face. Not that he wouldn't fight for her now, he would, if needed, but this wasn't a situation he could solve or win with his fists. This was far more delicate of a matter, but he couldn't just tell her why he'd left. That wouldn't do at all. He seriously doubted that she'd even believe him. The woman in front of him wasn't the girl he'd left.
Out of everything she could have said, that wasn't something he'd entirely expected. He'd thought, maybe, but. "I don't know." He answered it honestly, his voice rough, even as he ran his hand up and down her back soothingly. "I just don't know, bella." He wished he had an answer for her, wished he could tell her one way or another. She needed closure, needed a way to lay things to rest, but this was one thing Danny couldn't do for her. One of the rare things he just couldn't accomplish. And he didn't want to think of it either, didn't want to believe it. But what was worse... His being dead, or his betrayal of them? Because in the end, for all the hurt he was putting her through, it was exactly that.
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Post by Lucky Volpecillia on Jan 29, 2011 1:50:53 GMT -5
The kind of betrayal that ate a person up inside. It had eaten her up since he'd been gone, the moment she realized he wasn't coming back. When she realized it was her against the world alone again, and she would have to fight to survive on her own. Smalls was her partner in crime that would never change. They'd spent a night in jail and all Lucky could think of was how much the food sucked and how much Sneaks was going to be mad at her for doing something so stupid. Now? What did it matter how reckless she was? If he wasn't there to scold her or tell her it was a bad idea. River did, River loved her-- he cared and she loved him but-- there was always a but.
At Danny's reply she tightened her arms around his neck, closing her eyes as she fought off the way her body wanted to shake. She was slight, tiny in the way that most couldn't see. And she knew that no one could see the bruises or the scars she had from the fights she got into, they'd marked her and being from Brooks she wore every bruise and scar with pride. But they were nothing compared to the wounds on her heart that have been left.
"I hated you for leaving.." she meant it, she had hated him for a good while. Not having him to lean on, when she never needed to lean. The moment she'd needed something, she'd had to dig in herself and find it. She'd had to be strong and she closed her eyes. "benvenuti a casa."
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Post by Daniel Cardoni on Jan 29, 2011 2:40:30 GMT -5
Lucky was reckless. It came with the territory. She was fierce and dangerous and reckless, taking risks and throwing caution to the wind like it didn't matter. Danny had been at her side for more than his fair share, with Sneaks more often than not watching them from the sidelines or breaking them out, calling them idiots the entire way. But it was just a part of their life, as easy as breathing, and he'd never really questioned it. Sure they shouldn't do half of what they did, but what was the fun in living life safely? There had been times Danny had scolded and told her how bad of an idea it was... and still stayed at her side through it all. It didn't matter where it was they ended up in the end.
Maybe not physically, no, but he could see the ones she tried to hide the most, and that was just as bad. The scars on her heart showed in her actions, her words, the way she viewed the world from those beautiful eyes of hers. Eyes that could laugh and sparkle as easily as they could bite and glare, though he had more than an inkling they'd been doing far too much of the latter lately and hardly any of the former. "I thought I was doing the right thing at the time, bella. If I could change it, I would." And it was a whisper, if anything, even as he held her close and let his own eyes close, head bent to rest against hers. And those words, they had him smiling despite it all. "I'm with you, tesorina, and it finally feels like home."
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Post by Lucky Volpecillia on Jan 29, 2011 2:57:57 GMT -5
She'd never done the safe thing in her life, it came from being brought up by a man like her father. Who was a good father but not a good man, and reckless one to boot. She didn't want to die like him but she'd never expected to live either. No one did, it was the nature of their reality. People died all the time. She had her eyes closed, listening to him when he dropped his forehead to hers before she took a breath, letting out out in a huff.
"That's bullshit," she replied fliply, always calling his bullshit when she knew that he wasn't lying. She knew his tells as well as he knew hers. He wasn't lying, they were almost clinging to each other like they were a life line. How many times had he called her out when they'd been young, how many times had they dragged each other off on some adventure. How many times had he told her, Lets not, bella. How many times had he gone with her regardless, taking her hand and sticking with her no matter what. The roughest time in her life, and he'd been no where for her to find. No where for her to lean. She'd turned to River, the consistent and the stable. She'd wanted a normal life, but she was slowly realizing she was never going to be normal.
"I'll kill you if you leave again," there was Lucky, fight and bark as she replied. But her arms were still around his neck, she really needed to really cry. It was true, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Not yet. "So help me I'll hunt you down and remove your head and shove it down your wind pipe.."
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Post by Daniel Cardoni on Jan 29, 2011 3:14:53 GMT -5
Danny could understand the not expecting to live part. He certainly hadn't. Look at his life. He was exactly what she'd started calling him all those years ago; a poor rich boy. Had he stayed with his family he would either be dead now or in the mafia, brought in by his father, who wouldn't have taken no for an answer. That life wasn't for him. He wasn't that way. And he'd run away to save his life but he'd never expected to actually survive, or flourish the way he had. Because, despite what anyone had to say on the subject, he had flourished. Becoming a newsie had been the best thing for him. It had brought him to so many wonderful people, and her. He would have struggled through his past a hundred times more just to be with her in the end of it all.
So many times. Too many times. And he'd do it now too. Without a seconds hesitation or a pause. But it was hard to travel this line with her now because she did know him. She knew him far too well, knew when he was lying and when he was telling the truth. Knew when he was upset or worried or injured and hiding it. She'd seen him in every possible situation, or at least it seemed like it, and that was one of the reasons why he'd left in the first place. It fit in with everything else, but really. He'd convinced himself, with Collin's help, that staying would only make it harder for him and, ultimately, for her. He had half a mind to knock the other's head in the next time he saw him, but Lucky might just do it for him.
And the way he looked at her, it was a look not often seen on his face. Almost sad, almost reflective, a little lost, a lot guarded. "I didn't think there was another choice." But he listened to her threaten him and it shook most of the foreign emotions off his face, replaced with an oddly amused smile that didn't quite reach all the way to his eyes. "I already told you I wasn't leaving, Miranda. I promised you."
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